Peanut Butter

{this is not a post about adoption or my adoption ~ lord, that will be a reeeeeeeeeally long post! but it does play into it a bit}

I am adopted. While adoption is a wonderful thing, it often comes with some drawbacks/bummers. Like the fact that back in the 80's no one thought to have the biological family fill out family medical history forms. This plays into my life every time I have to fill out any sort of health related information. "Adopted", I write across the page ~ as if it's a jail sentence. It's not a jail sentence. It was an incredible gift and indescribably selfless of my birthparents. And I'm thankful for that but I can't help often feeling like the pages of my life are blank. Missing just those little pieces that are important enough to finish the whole project. And this only really bothers me when the issues come up.

Issues like Peanut Butter.

I waited until Snowdrop was older than 1 year (okay, so it's only been a few weeks!) and I could swear I've pulled nuts out of her mouth before... and I really don't know how she could have avoided the taste of sandwich remnants from under the table.... Of course, you know where this is going. I gave her half a slice of bread with the thinnest amount of PB smeared on it. She LOVED it, of course because our family LOVES anything with nuts {the immature schoolgirl in me just fell in stitches}. And as I started to wipe her up once she had finished, she started whining and wiping her eyes in fury. Her hands were just rubbing all over her face. Her hands and face were now bright red, and covered in white dots. Immediately I knew she was having an allergic reaction.

I held my bearings for long enough to check that she wasn't having difficulty breathing. Then I placed a call to the doctor to see what we should do. I know all signs point to the hospital, but she really wasn't having trouble breathing. So the doctor told me to give her some Benedryl, which of course is not something we have at the house. I practically hung up on the nurse and flew next door with my baby to see if they had any Children's Benedryl. They didn't answer and at the time I had completely forgotten that there is another family on our block with young kids like ours. I flew (there was a lot of flying that afternoon) back into the house and told the girls to put their coats and shoes on. I said that Baby Snowdrop is very sick and we need to get her medicine right away. I must have been really convincing because God Bless their little hearts, they got right down from their lunch and got to the door. We piled in the car and I drove, emergency flasher on, 90 miles an hour to Walgreens. No actually I hit 90 on the highway there. (It's only a 3 minute drive on the highway, much longer on the regular roads.) We were flying.

We flew (more flying) into the Walgreens and I made a mad (seriously it was mad, like crazy-mad!) dash to the wrong aisle, and then a few more wrong aisles until I found the Benedryl. I flung my baby on the waiting chairs outside the pharmacy and the pharmacist, God Bless him, waved me on and didn't make me pay first. He didn't have to do that, but Lord knows I wasn't paying first. My baby needed her medicine!! The doctor's office said 3/4 teaspoons, and because I'm paranoid about medicine, I only gave her 2. Mainly just to make sure I wasn't getting it wrong and also just because my body is funny about medicine and I don't want to make my kids feel sick. Medicine is paid and we drive home, a little slower than the speed limit. I believe with all my heart that God send angels to help us there. I know it. I know they helped usher my children out the house and into the car and got us swiftly and safely to Walgreens. Thank GOD they built this Walgreens. The next closest one is 10 minutes, easily.

By the time we got home, I could tell the rash was already going away. PHEW. I gave her another 1/4 tsp when we got inside. And within a little while it had pretty much all disappeared.

So I had to call back the doctor's office & tell them she's alive and the Benedryl worked and make an appointment with the pediatrician so we can come in and discuss allergies and where they'll send us to get her tested. It's just so scary, especially peanut allergies, and I just really hope that if she IS allergic to peanuts that it is a mild allergy so I won't have to worry about being in public and accidentally touching something that has peanut on it and her having a reaction.... My heart really sank when the receptionist said that I'd need to come talk to the doctor about it and get more information about Epi-Pens. {Okay, you should know before I even wrote that part that said "Epi-Pens", I just burst into tears. It's seriously just so scary! Taking a breath now....} Working at a bakery for so long, and with a boss who is actually "Deadly Dangerous" allergic to peanuts, has totally prepared me for the careful attention needed when handling peanut products near someone with an allergy.... so that's postive, right? Looking for the postive here!! I just really wasn't expecting this. It's a major curve ball.

I just wish there was something I could have done to prevent this, or that I had known about it. It just really sucks when these things creep up on me. And it's just doubly crummy-feeling because it reminds me about the things I dislike about (my) adoption. I just wish I knew more than I do; it would change a great many things.

ANYWAYS, we're heading to the doctor this morning to talk about everything so I'll post an update when I know one. Do any of you or anyone in your family have peanut allergies?

Please, If you pray to someone or reflect or meditate or wish on stars ~ just say a little something for Snowdrop. Thank you. And maybe one for me, so I stop worrying. For like an hour. I just need an hour of mind-peace.