Ch-Ch-Changes

Getting used to this peanut and milk allergy has not been easy. We try to feed our kids mainly organic food ~ always when it comes to Meat or Milk, and more often than not for processed foods, and as much as we can for fruits & veggies. Organic Food? Not super easy to come by ~ not terribly hard either, we just don't have a large selection here. Organic Food that's Peanut-Free? Organic Peanut-Free Milk-Free Food? Yikes. I had a pretty difficult time at Whole Foods the other day. We also have a Trader Joe's but they didn't seem to have much themselves. Someone mentioned to me that there might be a small market here that caters to Peanut-Free. I need to check that out.

Hubby & I feel so badly for Snowdrop. We feel so guilty. For so long, like since she was a few weeks old, she had this terrible eczema. It was so bad. She sucks her thumbs a bit and they would always look SO raw, cut up, just gross and grosser every day. And her cheeks were always red, her arms covered in a dry rash... and now that we've cut out all these things from her diet (peanuts and milk, other than actual drinking milk) it's improved so immensely... it's just so unbelievable. The eczema is all but gone from her body. Amazing! We feel so guilty though, especially me. All the PB I used to eat for extra nursing calories... I feel so stupid. So responsible for this. All those times we gave her crackers, or bread, or cereal, or oatmeal, all laced with peanuts... I just feel terrible.

Did she feel sick all the time? Did she hurt? Was her common wheezing and general stuffiness actually her unable to breathe from a mild reaction to the traces of nut in her food? Will she grow out of this? Please God, let her grow out of this. For her own sake. Can she go to baseball games? Can we take her to other sporting events? Can she go to the grocery store? Do I need to Clorox the cart if she does? Instruct people not to touch her? Do I need to worry about kissing her if I ate a Resees while I was out running errands? When will this start to feel like normal?

I'm going to bed before I start thinking too much. :)